Food for the Way: Gentleness
At that time Jesus declared, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:25-30)
But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” (John 8:1-11)
A few weeks ago I decimated half a dozen peaches while attempting to hurriedly make a peach crisp. My two-, four- and six-year-olds were with me at the counter, “helping” with this culinary pursuit that they had convinced me (begrudgingly) to take on. I soon realized as we were trying to peel the skin off of each underripe fruit that this group project was going to require far more time, effort, and patience than I had stored in my arsenal. So, I hacked away and rushed us through the recipe in hopes of getting my little ones away from the kitchen and out of my hair.
This scenario happens a lot. Not baking with little ones; I avoid that as much as possible—but steamrolling the objects that are standing in the way of my plan. Peaches, children...delicate entities that suffer when you force your own way. This lack of gentleness doesn’t always stem from a place of selfishness, either. Often it arises out of deep care. You don’t hesitate to emotionally bulldoze a person when you’re convinced their physical or spiritual health is in danger. You can’t be gentle when you are gripped with fear, and nothing is scarier than feeling like the welfare of someone you love is up to you to preserve.
In the following excerpt from an old poem called “Do the Next Thing,” which was repurposed by Elisabeth Elliot, we see how releasing our fears unto the Lord can transform our steamrolling tactics into the gentleness that we desire:
“Do it immediately, do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
Leave all results, do the next thing.”
When it comes to human relationships, we need a trust and humility that enables us to surrender our agendas unto the Lord; we need to release ourselves from the undue responsibility of preventing harm or procuring wellness in others. Looking at the passages above, you see these qualities manifest in Jesus as he trusts the Father’s sovereignty to reveal the truth to some and not to others. The same is true of him as he deals mercifully with the woman caught in adultery. He takes the exact opposite stance of the angry mob that is shouting and hovering over their subject: he makes himself small by kneeling on the ground and silently tracing his finger in the dirt, then diffuses their vengeance with a simple sentence.
If you’ve ever read Hannah Anderson’s Humble Roots: How Humility Grounds and Nourishes Your Soul, you know that the whole book centers on Matthew 11:28-30 and its portrayal of humility and trust. In it she explains, “Humility teaches us to trust God. And suddenly a burden rolls off our back. We are no longer responsible to produce faith in another person’s heart. (As if we ever could.) We are no longer responsible for someone’s relationship with Christ. We are no longer responsible for the Holy Spirit’s work. He is.”
Gentleness, or ”not needing to force your own way in life,” as Eugene Peterson describes it, requires bravery. But what a relief to believe that the Lord is as powerful and as good as He promises to be. To surrender ourselves and our people unto Him. To feel the contentment of staying in the lane of our calling and relying on God to do the rest.
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CONSIDER
In the passages above, Jesus speaks and acts in ways that defy people's expectations of him—his gentleness is surprising. In what situations could you surprise others with your gentleness
Where in your life are you tempted to force your own way? What feels scary about handing the reins over to God? What truths about his character can bring comfort to that space?
In what ways might your care for those in your community change by trusting the results with the Lord?
Reflect Further
Read 1 Samuel 25 and note how Abigail behaves differently than the other characters. How do you see faith and humility underlying her gentle response to the situation?
Artwork by Tess Miller. Additional design by Rachel Lee.
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