Foster Care: How You Can Help
My first memories of what the inside of a courtroom looked like do not come from pleading guilty to my first (and only) traffic ticket when I was 16, but rather from a rather tragic day when I was about 10 years old.
I come from a broken home, and my parents divorced when I was about eight years old. My two brothers and I had been living with my mother and step-father, but upon learning the news that they wanted to move us from Virginia to Colorado, we found ourselves in the middle of a vicious custody battle between my mom and dad.
Several months later, the day came when the three Pulizzi boys, dressed in our Sunday best, walked into the courtroom and stood before a judge to make a decision that no child should have to make. We needed to tell the court which parent we wanted to live with and why. Even then, as a 10 year old, it felt utterly devastating to essentially tell the whole world that we preferred living with our dad in Virginia rather than moving with our mom. Though it wasn’t phrased this way, the judge’s question was essentially, “Who do you boys love the most?”
Even though we told the court that we wanted to live with our dad, I remember bawling in my mother’s arms after the ruling was made and custody turned over. It was, for many years to come, the worst day of my life.
But healing slowly crept into the broken places of my family. No, my parent’s did not get back together. But over time—decades, really—God healed these relationships and grew our love for each other. I rather look forward to spending time with my parents these days, no matter how complex the family history may be.
My story is not unique. There are many families that experience brokenness leading to divisions in the home and dissolutions of marriages. Some of you know this all too well.
Here in Richmond, and across the country, there are families going through immensely complicated times. There are parents struggling to make ends meet, battling addiction, working through any number of issues. And for one reason or another, sometimes their children need to spend time away from their biological parents to allow time for stability and healing to occur.
These children are placed into the foster care system…and it is a system that needs our help. There are far too many children, far too few social workers, and still far too few families who are opening their home to children in need.
It’s not for lack of trying that the system is in trouble—people in our city are working diligently to care for children and families. And God’s Word tells us that we should also be working diligently to care for these children and families as well.
In Psalm 68, we are told that God is a Father to the fatherless, a defender of widows. In Deuteronomy 10 we learn that not only is God mighty and awesome, but he is also the defender of orphans and widows; and that he loves those wandering among us. In these places, and all throughout Scripture we can feel the pulse of God’s heartbeat for those in need.
For the past year, City Church has been partnering with other area churches to support Richmond Department of Social Services to not only care for social workers, but to also care for foster families in our city.
In the past few months, God has moved several families to begin taking steps to become foster parents. One family feels called to provide foster care for immigrant children coming from detention centers near the border; another feels especially drawn to children with special medical needs; and another family wants to provide care for children in need even though they already feel like they are in over their heads.
Not everyone can or should become foster parents. But we, as a church, can and must support those families in our midst who have felt called to foster children. City Church is committed to provide what is called “Wrap Around Care” for these families. In short, this is the type of care we extend to any family of a newborn. We want to provide meals, clothing, labor for household chores—all the things a family needs during a time of transition.
So what can you do to help care for children and families in need in our city? Here are a few ways:
Take time to consider and pray whether or not your family could become a foster family. There are thousands of kids in Virginia who are in need of foster parents.
Commit to serving those who do choose to foster by providing wrap around care. Nearly 50 percent of foster families quit within the first year because they did not receive the support they needed to sustain care. We are looking for a few people to serve as advocates for foster families in our church. Those advocates would be the primary point person for a foster family and would help get the word out about their needs. We have one advocate signed up already, but are in need of more as families might be receiving placements before the new year!
Volunteer to serve with special events that are being organized to support both Richmond DSS and foster families in our city. In about a week, City Church will be helping to throw a holiday party for foster kids and their families. At other times in the year we help organize Foster Parent Night Out events.
Learn more about the Foster Care Crisis by visiting vakidsbelong.com or talking with me!
If you are interested in learning more or becoming involved in any way, please reach out to me at jim@citychurchrva.com.
My story is one that ultimately involved healing and some sense of restoration. We pray that we can, to whatever extent God is calling us, be a part of helping families in our city also experience healing and reunification of parents and children.